lockdown

MY FIRST PANDEMIC

…and obviously hopefully my last. 

2020, the year of challenge, resilience, change, tears, laughter, and realignment. A transformative few months, a year that for many, has been life-changing. In many ways, life continued on; many continued to work, babies were born, creators continued to share their talents with the world. In other ways, the world completely shut down. 

Looking back, the last nine months have changed us, in ways that will stay with us long beyond the last day of 2020. Even typing the words NINE MONTHS is horrifying, have we honestly been living in this bubble for almost a year? But hey, at least Primark are set to do an all-nighter… (to confirm this is absolute sarcasm, you’ll not find me swapping my bed for the Abbeycentre anytime soon).

Remember when we had it all? By all I mean every single tiny aspect of everyday life we completely took for granted. For me personally, this whole Covid carry on has highlighted something for me, I have so much more than I ever thought I had. So many little elements of life that I never focused on, have this year become things I appreciate above all else. 

Aside from the harsh reality that the Government haven’t got much of a clue what they’re doing, I’ve learnt a lot more this year than I had truly realised.

Wherever you are, be all there

Be content with where you are at this very moment, otherwise you’ll miss your life. 

I’m so guilty of dreaming the days away. Some may think I’m quite optimistic, others probably think flip she’s awful laid back. Then there are my close friends who know I’m a wee ball of stress half of the time. The way we come across to others is a crazy concept, the construct that two people could view you in two completely different ways. Realistically, this exact notion tells us all we need to know – no matter how you intend to come across, those around you will see you from the perspective they choose too. Put yourself first and be you, always, the people who view you in the way you hope will find you. 

I’ll share a blog post or a photo on Instagram and possibly come across as someone who may ‘have my life together’ at least a tiny bit. In reality, I really don’t. I overthink everything, that picture took 45 mins and has 250 outtakes, I’m 10x more anxious about things than I would usually show, and I have many a down day. Guess what, that’s ok. It’s normal to worry, it’s normal to doubt yourself, but what’s important is that for every time you fall, you rise stronger. 

Albert Einstein once said “the best preparation for the future is to live as if there were none”. If ever a year were to shine a light on this sentiment, it’s 2020. I was in Edinburgh only a few weeks before the country went into lockdown back in March. We laughed at the dramatics of it all at the airport… all this for a wee virus? Surely not? Awk it’ll be yesterday’s news in a few weeks. I never would’ve believed anyone who’d told me I’d still be living through this all these months later.  Just look at how quickly the world can change, how our lives can be flipped upside down and inside out without a minutes’ warning. Our time is now.

Coffee makes the world spin

I may not be gracing the counters of every branch of Caffè Nero within Belfast and surrounding areas, but our caffeinated friend is still very much part of my daily life. It’s the little things like this that make all the difference when the days are so repetitive and realistically quite dull.  Saying that though, we’d be needing a Starbucks drive through in West Belfast because that queue at Connswater is horrific. 

I really did define ‘getting my money’s worth’ out of our Nespresso this year.

This is just a chapter, not our full story

Sometimes in life we feel tired, not because we have done too much, but because we haven’t done enough of what sets our heart alight and makes us truly happy.

Furlough and the general idea of isolation was a turning point for me, a time I truly learnt to value and enjoy my own company. Usually I would be the type of person who’d feel the day had been wasted if I hadn’t engaged in at least one social activity, but this year I learnt that productivity is not measured by speed, and that it is more important than ever to slow down and find the peace that lives beneath the chaos.

It’s funny how it takes the world to come to a complete standstill for us to take a bit of time for ourselves. Whether it be that hobby you parted ways with when life got too busy, or that instrument you’ve been threatening to learn how to play for the last 6 years but have never found the time to start. Sometimes slowing down is a healing experience. When we stop rushing through life we can be amazed at what we suddenly have time for. It may feel like the world is passing at lightening speed, progressing, changing, and trying to keep up seems almost impossible. The importance of taking time to breathe became apparent this year, most commonly the time we are in most need of taking a break is when we chose not too due to not having the time. 

Work hard and be nice to people, it’s important

As the saying goes, if it doesn’t challenge you, it won’t change you. A couple of months ago I started a new job, during one of the most up in the air years of my lifetime. Obviously I’d be the one to start a new chapter of my life mid global pandemic. I know, I was just as traumatised at the thought of leaving the routine I knew so well and jumping into something new. However, I’m glad to update that my new home from home is pretty great. Being at home for a couple of months on furlough really gave me time to work on myself, both professionally and personally, and encouraged me to take the leap and explore pastures new (after many rejections of course, it didn’t happen overnight). 

My family is something I have never taken for granted, however never did I imagine reaching a stage where we were separated to this extent. Having such a close family is all well and good until Boris and Arlene tell us we can’t see eachother in the ways we’re so used too. Something else that has been reinforced this year, hugs are really important. If you have people in your life that are worth missing, you have already won.

Stop apologising for being human

There are a few things in life we don’t have to apologise for. Crying, showing emotion, asking for help, or trusting your gut, to name but a few.

The world can very easily begin to cave in on top of us, there will be days when the weight of what we’re living through seems too heavy to bare. Trust me, you’re not the only one feeling like this. It’s ok to have days that feel a little duller than the rest. You won’t always be a priority to others, but you have to be a priority to yourself.

No matter what your mind may be telling you, you will get through this. Don’t get tired of being a good person with a good heart, it’ll all make sense someday. Life is full of challenges, and anyone who may say theirs’ isn’t, is probably lying (or possibly incredibly optimistic). Equally important would be something my Mum has told me over and over since I was a little girl, if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. Be grateful for what you do have, all day everyday, and remember, you are always enough. 

There is always something to be grateful for

A couple of months ago, not long after the whipped coffees and colouring in books period, I started journaling. What originally started as an excuse to stock up on stationary whilst on furlough and having absolutely zero need for it otherwise, ended up something I probably value the most in every day. Gratitude is something I admittedly did neglect slightly in the past, thinking surely it can’t be all that.

Every evening before going to bed I take note of two small wins of the day, two things I was grateful for that day, and how I felt overall throughout the day. On a Sunday, I set three goals for the week, two things to have less of that coming week, two things to have more of, and something I’m aiming to manifest. If anything, going back through past entries and reading through it all is great fun, and for someone with a brain as active as mine, this is a somewhat therapeutic little activity (and also means the poor individuals I spend my days with don’t have to listen to as much of the ins and outs of my brain). 

Taylor Swift is class

I’ve included this purely to make my bestfriends smile… After all, she gave us the masterpiece that is Folklore and I decided I am in fact a fan.

Our bodies deserve unconditional love

It can be incredibly tough facing huge changes. Once upon a time I spent 5 days a week in the gym, the same gym I haven’t graced with my presence since mid-March. Eat your greens, drink water (lots of it), and exercise. Whether you do an hours’ HIIT session or simply do a few laps of your street with the dog, movement is movement. It’s all good. There are definitely days working out is the last thing I want to do, but I always feel better afterwards. I personally got involved with Maeve Madden’s live Instagram workouts pretty early on in lockdown (check her out on Instagram @maeve_madden she’s absolutely fabulous). She has provided me with the sense of routine that the gym closures took away. Caring for your body, mind and spirit is your greatest responsibility.

Listen to your body, all day everyday. Don’t allow your mind to bully your body. One of the best bits of advice I have ever been given is to work out because you love your body, not because you hate it.

Together we are stronger

I guess the world will keep spinning, as much as some days it may seem as though it’s difficult to hold on, we can figure it out, together. Not everything in life is ours to carry. If this year has taught us anything, it’s that it is not what we have in life, but who we have that truly matters. Sometimes all we need is for someone to be there, not to necessarily do anything in particular, but to allow us to feel supported. It has been a year of ups and downs, but a year of lessons. A year of appreciation and exploration. After all, those forgotten talents came in handy. That knitting my Mum taught me when I was 8 kept me occupied for a whole weekend mid-lockdown.

In many ways I’m far from ‘having it all’, but in other ways this year has resonated with me in the form of a clear reminder that I have a home, a job, a family, and most importantly, my health. This time last year, all of the above were just a given, things I’ve always had and never worried too much about, however are now worth their weight in gold. Sometimes things in life happen to allow us to evaluate our priorities with much clearer vision, Covid-19 take a bow. It’ll all make sense someday, and in the meantime at least coffee shops are still open and Costa have a class Christmas menu. 

At the beginning of the year, I thought 2020 would be the year I would get everything I wanted. Looking back, 2020 has been the year that has taught me to appreciate everything I already have. 

Be kind, and keep turning left.

Nora xx

BSc Communication Management & Public Relations First Class Hons. Instagram – @noraellenb / Twitter – @noraellenb / LinkedIn- Nora Ellen Brennan.

HOW DANCE CHANGED MY LIFE

A time for reflection

Quite a lot of things have changed over the last two months; furlough, working from home, one trip to the shops per week, no school, and a serious lack of hugs. Besides the obvious reality that I definitely spent way too much time in Sainsburys pre-Covid, one factor that personally resonates with me has to be the large group of people going without their much-loved hobbies and activities. I for one would’ve been absolutely distraught if such a thing had taken place during my dancing days. 

As usual, something will fleetingly pop into my head and my brain then goes off on a tangent. I began thinking about how my years of dancing have shaped me as a person, how I have never lost my love for dance, and that I doubt I ever will. As the famous Dr. Seuss quote reminds us, “sometimes you will never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory”.

I danced for quite a huge chunk of my childhood, but looking back the years really did fly by. I danced right up until my education got quite full-on and required a bit of serious attention in order to achieve my goals. Giving only a fraction of my attention to something that meant so much to me just didn’t sit right, and I decided to hang up my shoes with memories of only ever giving 100%. I had a successful dancing career, went on to have a successful educational career, and can only hope to say the same about my ‘actual’ career in the future. 

The hidden language of the soul

It has been a while since I’ve thought about dancing on a personal level; of course I keep up to date with the dancing world day in day out on social media, but this is a completely unrehearsed exploration into the impact it has had on my life. I owe so much to each and every person who was part of that journey.

In particular, the people responsible for my love for dance, my incredibly talented and hard-working teachers.  

The weekends dedicated to competitions, sometimes missing birthday parties and a list of other activities, taught me commitment and the ability to prioritise at a young age; to understand that sometimes decisions have to be made by our present selves to pave the way for our future selves. Thank you for showing me that nothing worth having in life comes easy.

The nights I had class were a quick turnaround between school, homework, dinner and getting myself sorted and out the door. Thank you for teaching me the ability to multi-task, alongside commitment and productivity; we all have the same amount of hours per day, and what we choose to do with those is what shapes our being.

Thank you for making me a motivator. There’s a solution to every problem, and criticism can be constructive. Thank you for challenging me to constantly better myself, for showing me the sun cannot shine without a little rain. For inspiring me to be a leader, and to never give up or look down on anyone. You taught me confidence, one of the greatest gifts I could’ve ever received. 

Thank you for teaching me that winning isn’t the be all and end all of life. Taking part is just as (if not more) important. 

As a 23 year old, I couldn’t list my placements over the years. What I can recall in detail; the memories inside and outside of class, the friendships, the costumes, the competitions, displays and functions, the days spent drilling the same 10 seconds of a step, this is what I remember, and I know I’m not alone. In these moments there was nowhere else in the world I would’ve rather been.  

Dance gave me my ‘can-do’ attitude. The courage to be brave enough to fail at something new. The same attitude I see responsible for my other achievements, both academically and personally. Mistakes, mishaps, bumps in the road don’t define you, your ability to get up and keep trying does. 

Practicing so hard and not placing as highly as hoped… totally unfair and outrageous, right? An excuse to walk away? Wrong. That’s life. There’s ups, downs, and everything in between. Failure, disappointment, sadness, all general everyday emotions. I was lucky to learn this at a young age. I was lucky enough to learn that every disappointment isn’t a personal attack, every feeling of failure wasn’t reason to give up. For every down day in the world of dancing came 6 good days, because for every 7 it remained my most favourite thing in the whole world. Thank you for the blessing of persistence.

I write from personal perspective of an Irish Dancer, however all is relevant to any hobby, activity or pastime that takes up a place in your heart never to be lost. My dance teachers were a few of the first people to believe in me, and responsible for some of my earliest and most memorable achievements. Thank you for giving me a purpose in childhood that has motivated my drive to always have a purpose in adulthood. 

So for all of the above, I thank you. 

“It’s not where you are in life, it’s who you have by your side that matters.”

I still run steps to burn off energy, especially now while stuck at home all day. I put my shoes on at the beginning of lockdown for the first time in a few years, and it was as if no time at all had passed. Dancing continues to brighten my mood, my mum still displays my winnings as though more are due to appear, and I will always call myself a dancer.

It can be hard sometimes; friends from outside of the dancing world won’t always understand why you choose to devote so much free time to something they don’t appreciate in the same way you do. Life will give you the choice to sit it out or dance; I’m glad I gave so much of my time to something I loved, I’m glad I made sacrifices, I’m glad I have these memories. I may not have chosen to go professional, but I can confidently say that dance made me into the person I am today, and I will always be grateful for that. 

To each and every dancer who may be reading this. You will be back. Stronger, brighter, and more determined than ever. Remember, enjoy every minute, because in no time at all you’ll find yourself looking back.

Finally, always #bekind.

Nora xx

BSc Communication Management & Public Relations First Class Hons. Instagram – @noraellenb / Twitter – @noraellenb / LinkedIn- Nora Ellen Brennan.

COFFEE AND GEGS

HELLO 

I’m Nora. 23 years old. Recent graduate from Ulster University. Coffee enthusiast, Personal Assistant to my dog Toby, retired (but still tapping my feet daily) dancer, and online shopping addict. Like many others, I’m currently at home exploring multiple hobbies (one of which is this blog) and treating Sainsburys like Paris Fashion Week on grocery day.

Almost a year ago I completed the final year of my degree – a complete emotional roller-coaster. I studied Communication Management and Public Relations, enjoyed the ups and downs and everything in between, a tough but well worth it journey. In first semester I studied a module called Critical Perspectives in PR and one aspect of the assignment was to publish two blog posts on the Ulster PR Student blog. Terrifying… I had never written anything beyond an Instagram caption before and the idea was incredibly daunting. However, this particular assignment turned out to be one of the most enjoyable I had ever completed. I did enjoy the Dissertation module too… (by that I mean trailing my bestfriend over to Jordanstown to snap a picture of me for social media to prove to my 300 followers that I actually wrote 10,000 words).

I promised myself I would start my own blog post-graduation, alas here we are bordering on a year later, and this is me just getting around to embarking on a new activity, it only took a global pandemic to entice me (let’s be honest, I need something to do now I’ve been furloughed from my current role as ‘piece of furniture’ in the coffee shops of Belfast). To clarify, no that isn’t my full-time occupation.

 A PAUSE BUTTON

Lockdown is very strange, there’s no doubt about it. It’s a completely new way of life, a way of life that most of us have never experienced, or ever considered a possibility. 

Personally, I’m very active and lead a fairly fast-paced life. I’m rarely at home, for no other reason than I prefer to cram every day full of activities. In addition to work, whether it be a simple coffee with a friend or a day at the park with my family, I’m definitely the ‘get out of the house’ type. I was an Irish Dancer for most of my childhood and teen years, I have an 8-year-old (soon to be 9) dog to be walked daily, and at least 60% of my wages go directly to Caffé Nero. I enjoy being busy. It’s my normal. 

Following the initial “I absolutely hate this, I miss everyone and everything, I miss my coffee shop friends who make my coffee before I order it….” outlook, that I’m sure most of us have experienced, I decided to adapt my thinking and make best use of this unexpected time at home. It’s a chance to pause, reflect, take a break and just breathe (…if you’re a key worker of any kind, you’re a complete superstar and we are all so grateful for your contribution). 

One thing that stands above all else – how lucky I am to have a close family and amazing friends that are worth missing to this emotional extent. Without a doubt, I now consider myself one of the lucky ones throughout the madness. I have a happy and comfortable home to roam around, lots to keep me occupied (doubt I’ve picked the most enriching activities, but they’ll do), a fully stocked Nespresso, and all else waiting for me when Boris gives us the go-ahead.

DO YOU FANCY A CUP OF TEA?

Positioned at the table in the back garden (that has had more use this last month than the prior 4 years), having spent £10 on birthday balloons for my dog who will be celebrating in lockdown (by celebrate I mean a few treats and a painstakingly dragged out photoshoot), was definitely not how I had envisaged a typical afternoon in May. I should be on the final countdown to the trip to Tenerife I’ll not be going on in a few weeks’ time, deciding what 40 outfits I’ll take along for my 5-day stay, but here I am at home deciding what mug I’ll use for hot drink number 6 of the day.

With the above in mind, for the first time in our lives so many of us have the ability to help out in the biggest way by doing absolutely nothing (quite literally). Stay home, stay safe, wash your hands, and learn how to make whipped coffee (it’s a game-changer).

A few years ago when I was learning to drive (when I say learning I mean severely struggling), my Mum mentioned a phrase my Dad used to joke about on the roads; If you ever get lost, just keep turning left, and you’ll eventually end up back on the main road you initially veered off. Whatever path you take, wherever the unknown trails of this life may take you, there will always be a plan B. Before sitting my A-Levels that same year, I printed and framed the phrase ‘Keep turning left’ and placed it on my desk. I think of it as a way to remind myself that no decision is necessarily ‘wrong’, but simply part of the journey.

This wee quote has become very special to me over the years, and will probably be used as a sign-off on the majority of my upcoming blog posts. Covid-19 has thrown the car into reverse, but gears are easily changed. That main road will be waiting for all of us.

THE IMPORTANT STUFF

Anyhow, enough about how much fun I’m having watching Disney+ with my dog. Here it is, my new blog ‘noraellenb’, by me, Nora Ellen Brennan (about as creative as my parents naming me after both grandmothers).

I hope you’ll all join me on my new adventure. I’ll try my very best to be interesting, with a bit of coffee chat and gegs on the side.

Be kind, and keep turning left.

Nora xx

BSc Communication Management & Public Relations First Class Hons. Instagram – @noraellenb / Twitter – @noraellenb / LinkedIn- Nora Ellen Brennan.