It’s all character building!

You’re wondering what on earth this post is about with a title like that… It’s something I heard over and over again from my lovely Mum. Nothing much was ever anything to worry about, all just building character. 

Since reaching the end of my educational journey so to speak (unless I actually do that Masters I’ve been threatening for months), I often find myself thinking back over the many years spent at school and visualise a long list of things I would love to have told my younger self. 

The current crisis has thrown plans in the air for so many people. Exams cancelled, next steps uncertain, unemployment, an empty job market… so much worry caused by something that quite literally came out of absolutely nowhere. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m all for a lazy day on the sofa with a cup of coffee and a share bag of Maltesers, but 14 weeks is pushing it. 

Today’s post was inspired by the many updates I have seen flooding my social media timelines for the last couple of weeks, surrounding the future of education. So many years of school and third-level educational life are filled with ups and downs at the best of times, never mind experiencing the above whilst enduring a global pandemic. 

Looking back on my teenage years, there is so much I would love to have been able to tell my younger self. Life lessons, experiences that lay ahead, and achievements that baby me never could’ve imagined she was capable of. So, for anyone reading this who may either resonate with this feeling, or may be stumbling through those early years of constant change, your journey wouldn’t be normal if it made total sense. 


Dear little Nora,

Firstly, the more you go on to learn about the world, the more you begin to realise that you in fact do not know everything. You’ll learn that you’re not always in control, but your knowledge is power. You’ll not understand so many events in our crazy world, but the key is to attempt to educate yourself. 

30 isn’t old. You’re not going to be married by 25 and will still live at home at 23. This is completely normal. Your 20s are funny, everyone you know is at different stages of their life.

Don’t be afraid to be yourself. There’ll be a few years that you’ll spend analysing every inch of yourself and wondering if changing how you come across to those around you will get you further in life. Truth is, later on down the line you’ll realise that the best version of yourself you can be is the one that comes naturally. Get to know who you really are, this will be the turning point. These years of uncertainty will mould you into the person you will eventually become.

You were put in the highest reading group in primary school, and huffed for weeks because the lower group got a better book. You’re going to learn that the opportunities you’re given are yours for a reason. Don’t waste time on what others do or don’t have, worry about yourself and the pieces will fall into place. 

Success is 20% strategy and 80% mindset, if you want it enough, it’s all yours for the taking. You will fail. You’ll not always be in control. However, you’ll learn how to take these lessons and use them to your advantage. Don’t let the pressure get to you. GCSEs are tough, then A-Levels come along and they’re 10x worse, then you get into University and find yourself sitting in the back row of your 9am lecture wondering how you got here, why you’re here, and how you can strategically nip out to the bathroom through the door conveniently positioned at the front of the lecture hall. Fun fact: all of the above are the toughest mountains you’ll have climbed to date at that particular time. Don’t feel bad for struggling. 

Take off the neon rainbow eye-shadow (or at least master the basics of makeup first and then try again).

You’re going to accomplish your academic goals. You mightn’t be completely satisfied with some results along they way, but don’t be disheartened, you’ll get your degree. Continue to treat your teachers well, you owe so much to them. Appreciate everything, and trust the process. It’s OK to feel however you truly do feel… it’s OK to be disappointed, angry, sad… emotions in general are OK.

Never ever settle. Don’t get too comfortable. Keep growing, keep thriving, and never stop dreaming. You may not reach every goal as and when you decide you’d like to achieve it, please don’t take this as an opportunity to lay down foundations at the point you’re at. Never loose your vision. You will go against your gut on so many occasions, simply choosing the easier option, but as the saying goes ‘…the worst mistake a person can make is being afraid to make one’.

Not everyone will have your best interests at heart. Be accepting that this is simply another aspect of normal life. Don’t let anyone rent a room in your head free of charge, don’t focus too much on what others think of you (within reason of course). People will walk in and out of your life as the years pass by, and your circle will get smaller as you grow older, but smaller doesn’t necessarily mean worse. You will learn to put yourself and your own happiness first, and this is a life-changing lesson. That friendship group you stumbled upon in school, spoiler alert: you’re stuck with them for life. You got lucky. Appreciate them now, you’ll all stick by eachother through it all. You will meet a few more pals through the years who’ll go on to become some of your closest and best friends, you’re so lucky.

Don’t let brilliant opportunities pass you by because you don’t feel you’re good enough. You are as deserving and capable as the next person. You don’t have to take everyone’s advice. Always be thankful and show appreciation for the input of those who care about you, but you’re your own person and sometimes decisions can only be truly made by you.

Your love for dancing will never leave you. However, one piece of advice: don’t get too hung up on results in your competitive career, enjoy every second because it’ll be over before you know it. The experiences are what you will remember. 

Go for that coffee date with your Mum that you might feel you’re too cool for at the time. This trip will grow into a lifetime love for those little caffeinated beans (and possibly a minor financial problem). By 2020 you won’t have to order in various coffee shops due to visiting that often that they now already know what you want, consider it a plus.

Lastly, something you will still have to repeat to yourself everyday in your 20s; nothing worth having comes easy. You may not be where you want to be right now, but you’re closer than you were yesterday. Regardless of everything, be proud of yourself, always. 

Life is a mystery. Living it is a blessing. You have the best group of friends, an incredible family, and are qualified for a career that will (hopefully) eventually fall into place. So hey, don’t panic too much about the future and just enjoy the journey, it’ll all be absolutely grand.

Be kind, and keep turning left.

Nora xx

BSc Communication Management & Public Relations First Class Hons. Instagram – @noraellenb / Twitter – @noraellenb / LinkedIn- Nora Ellen Brennan.